


Crossed Fingers

by AngelsDance



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff, I dont know how to tag anymore, SuperCorp, but thats about it i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-05 02:14:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11568204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelsDance/pseuds/AngelsDance
Summary: When Lena Luthor receives a "gift" from her brother that connects her best friend and National City's hero, how will she feel?





	1. The truth is ugly, I feel ugly too.

_“Found myself with crossed fingers in the rubble there.”_

 

It's a beautiful morning in National City. The sky is painfully blue, a blue that was rare in Metropolis, and she can hear the rustle of leaves as she walks in her building. She greets every employee that passes by while she makes her way into her office. Maybe things have changed for the better since she changed the way people used to see her as she built a statue for Supergirl. _Great move even a greater reason behind it,_ she tells herself.

As she opens her office door she sees something at her desk. Something small and covered with a black silk fabric and now, getting closer, a small envelope with something inside and a note that reads:

_“Open your eyes, Lee._

_\- Love, LL.”_

Her Guts churn, her hands are shaking in the moment she reads “Lee”. The only one who called her that was... _Lex_ . _But how could he do it? and why?_ she shakes these thoughts off. whatever Lex. So she decides to uncover whatever that object was since it couldn’t probably be a bomb, _right?_

_Voilá_. It’s just one of L-Corp first mold of Supergirl’s statue. The statue’s plaster cast was still full of imperfections, little details that were just not right and she had to argue with sculptors that she just knew that it wasn’t right nor ready yet.

_What’s the trick here, Lex?_ she furrows her brow, and remembers that stuffed envelope that she held minutes before. Her hands reach something cold. A pair of small glasses with a pin right in the middle. She stares at it. _No._ She stares at Supergirl’s face. Realizes a hole right in between her brows. _No._ Then her trembling hand holds the glasses to Supergirl’s face. It fits. It clicks.

_Click._

_Open your eyes, Lee._

_Maybe it is a bomb. She’d rather one._

_Click._

She holds that full of imperfections statue. Everything makes sense now. Her friend, Kara Danvers, was in the first row during the ceremony and after the explosion, she was nowhere to be found. But there she was. In a fuckin suit. Always there. This whole time. Lying. Pretending. It hits her harder now. The statue drops off her hand turning into little pieces. Just like her heart.

_How could I be so stupid?_

The only thing that makes sense now is to call every meeting she has off. Who could ever have the nerve to handle boring white privileged males arguing about what she is or isn't doing for the company? Everything she has now is a bottle of 24 years old scotch near her couch. _Perfect. I will not leave until I no longer have a liver._

2 hours after her first sip she no longer can walk a straight line as she paces around the room. The only action her body is doing right happens with her eyes, heart, and lungs. Crying, sobbing, barely breathing, her heart beats heavily inside her chest. As her feets stumble, her mouth speaks a drunk _“How could I be so stupid!”_ over and over again.

Then she hears a muffled sound somewhere. Getting louder as it gets closer. Whoever it is, Jess will stop them. Someone opens the door. She keeps pacing. Not very CEO like but it’s all she can do.

\- How could I be so stupid?

“Lena?” she hears a known voice right behind her back

_How dares she showing up? After everything?_

Lena takes a deep breath and turns to face her friend.

“Are you drunk? Hey,” she tries to get closer, her right arm moving toward her friend’s shoulders. Unsuccessfully. “What’s going o-” Lena interrupts.

“When were you planning to tell me,” she walks away and drags the chair that was hiding the plaster cast remains. “Supergirl?”

Kara stares for a second, trying to understand _what_ she was seeing. Her face drops. Maybe finding words when caught in a lie wasn’t one of her superpowers after all. “I’m waiting for an answer here!” Lena growls and throws her empty glass against the nearest wall. Kara flinches. She doesn’t care about what that stranger in the room thinks, she wants answers and she wants it now.

“I...I was going to tell you I just...” Kara stutters. _How could’ve I figure it out that Supergirl is able to stutter?_

“You just didn’t want a Luthor to know!” Lex once said that she should never drink when upset. She turns into the most grumpy person. Just like her father. And himself. Maybe she isn’t that different after all. It runs in her veins.

“No! It had nothing to do with that!” Kara clenches her fists, starts to hold herself in a more defensive manner.

“I DON’T WANT YOUR LIES. GET OUT!” Her blood boils. She remembers her fights with her dad, Lex, Jack.They all walked away and she always found herself alone.

“No.” Kara crosses her arms and stands still.

“Leave or I call security. Now!”

“Call them. It’s not like I wasn’t made of steel anyway.” and she just fucking stays. and stares at Lena with those eyes. Those pure and noble blue eyes. How could anyone get mad at her for long? _She lied. Everyday. Just like everyone else did!_ she remembers herself.

“Unbelievable.” she says with a disdainful tone in her voice. Cold and, for now, calm.

Lena shrugs and recklessly sits on her couch, pours herself another drink just for the sake of it, then rubs her temple feeling the terrible headache that is to come.

“I just want you to listen, Lena.” And just like that she finally moves. Making her way near the CEO. When her body touches the fabric of the couch, Lena stands up without a quiver.

“What could you possibly have to say now that was worth the a-year-and-a-half wait?” She sips a big gulp before speaking way too fast for her own brain to catch up, the words burning in her throat.

“You obviously doesn't care how I felt anytime you were in danger.” Kara tries to find any change of expression or heartbeat, without success. “I didn't tell you because I was waiting for the perfect moment. A moment where the world wasn't falling apart for any of us. Because I knew that the truth could destroy everything that we've know about us.”

“That's a possibility indeed.” That Luthor sense of humor showing off whenever she's scared. Some have guns. She has irony.

“Just. Don't do it right now.” _I can't think straight when you speak_ . “It would either destroy or change things for the best. But either way, I was scared of losing you.” _Don’t overthink much. Just breathe, Kara. Breathe._

Now Lena has a different expression. Something totally different from the hurt and anger but decided to keep herself shut.

“I wasn't petrified until your mother told me you’d hate me. And... when I... I saw the look in your eyes and a remaining piece of Superg- _my statue_ with glasses, around the rest of its broken pieces I just... I didn't want to think your mother was right but I-”

“Are you trying to say you're sorry or to make me even madder?” _Is she fucking kidding me?_ and another big gulp of scotch burning her insides

“Lena. Please.” Maybe she should over think some things. Principally now. “I wasn't trying to… It’s me, okay? I didn't change. I didn't walk away. It's me! I'm the same!” her tone getting angrier and angrier. _Rao, how can I be this bad with words when I make it a living?_

“You lied to me! During all this time! You straight up lied since I got here!”

“I was just trying to protect you! I promised you that!” She never really expected Lena to react like that. In the worst case scenario, Lena would just flee the city and leave her behind.

“How does lying help?!” She has to get it off her chest and _thank god for alcohol._

“Well, You never asked!” and that's it. After arguing with their hands all over, just to emphasize the words, they just have pumped veins: Foreheads and necks. When the tension was spit in words and tears and all they have is a few inches apart and googly eyes, there's an explosion somewhere not that far. But Kara remains silent and still. Breathing heavily.

“Duty calls?” Lena arches her eyebrow and smirks. Alcohol and chaos really bring the worst in her.

Without blinking “This isn't over, Lena.” And just like that, she is gone. Left her clothes on the floor and used the balcony to fly.

_“No, it can't be._ ” she whispered to herself, not sure if Kara could her but Supergirl certainly would.

  


_“Well you stole the heart right out my chest_

_Changed the words that I know best_

_Found myself with crossed fingers in the rubble there.”_

  



	2. Love Hunt Me Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Kara, Lena would never starve, get exhausted, thirsty. She would never be alone. But here she is. Her office colder as it has ever been. She can hear the explosions somewhere and her heart rate races at the thought of Kara fighting those bad guys. Kara goofy Danvers can leash out heat vision from her beautiful blue eyes. She flies and falls down. The thought of Kara getting hurt breaks her heart. Maybe that’s what she meant with “protection”. Maybe she really was trying to protect me from reality. Her reality.

 

_ “I can’t stand to be so dead behind the eyes.” _

It has been hours since Kara left. Or 30 minutes? Or 10 seconds? Lena isn’t sure. She sits on the couch with her empty glass on one hand. The couch where they used to talk about everything. Family, work, love. Kara would always make her laugh and bring her food, she knew that once Lena gets busy with work she forgets to eat. With Kara, Lena would never starve, get exhausted, thirsty. She would never be alone. But here she is. Her office colder as it has ever been. She can hear the explosions somewhere and her heart rate races at the thought of Kara fighting those bad guys. Kara goofy Danvers can leash out heat vision from her beautiful blue eyes. She flies and falls down. The thought of Kara getting hurt breaks her heart.  _ Maybe that’s what she meant with “protection”. Maybe she really was trying to protect me from reality. Her reality. _

She hears a different sound back in her head. Or was it from her phone? She searched for the source of it and it’s screen read “Agent Danvers”.  _ Damn it. A terrible time to be wasted.  _

Alex’s voice rips off the silence, “Listen, Lena. We have a chopper coming to pick you up in seconds. Get ready. We need you.” It wasn’t a request. Lena has no choice and nothing to say. She hangs up and lets Jess know she is leaving soon. And  _ of course,  _ she drinks water and takes some Advil, she has to look at least 50% sober. She is a CEO and a Luthor after all.

\--------

The DEO isn’t as chaotic as she thought it’d be; people aren’t screaming at each other, maybe it’s just what she felt like doing. She sees Winn and J’onn looking at bright screens with some nuclear element rate. She knows that number quite well. She used to read Lex’s notes when she was younger and bored.  _ 126\. But a not so stable Kryptonite. _

“She is fighting Metallo?” she asks, the question was directed to anyone with ears. Alex looks at her surprised somehow, “and how do you know?”

“I’m not stupid, Agent Danvers.” she doesn’t take her eyes out of the screen for a second “How can I help?” now she looks at J’onn for a brief moment 

“We were hoping you’d work with Winn to recreate his anti kryptonite device.”

“You work with Supergirl it was supposed to be ready already! It will take too long!”  _ not a good time to pick up a fight _

“Sir, Supergirl is almost running out of her powers!” Alex doesn’t sound as cold as she did before, her voice full of pain and worry. Everyone in the room freezes for a moment. Even Winn that was trying to connect wires in his device stops and looks at Alex.

“Lena, we can-” he pleads.

“Enough of it, Agent Danvers. Let me talk to her!” she interrupts and goes straight to Alex. Giving her no choice. Not when she has that demanding look on her face. Not when she looks so sure of herself. Alex has no choice but to hand her the mini earbud.

“Kara, listen to me.” Lena can feel people staring and Winn murmuring  _ “she knows?” _ to someone. She doesn’t care, she’s too busy. She can hear Kara’s hitched breath and wishes she could see her face right now.  _ How in hell didn't they hack any camera? _

“Lena,” Kara says in between breaths “what are you doing there?”

“No, it’s not the time for questions. You’ll listen to me,” she demands

“I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” Kara LAUGHS. In the middle of throwing something at Metallo or at being thrown something at her, Lena isn’t sure. She needs to see her. As Lena goes to the nearest computer and starts to type furiously on the keyboard, she says. “You can do this. You don’t get to give up now. I know you can do this because I’m alive. You took me in your arms and you fought Metallo right before he exploded. I don’t know how he is alive but I know you can do this.” She speaks fast and types even faster. When she finishes her sentence, the whole DEO can see the war scenario that was installed downtown.

“I’m-I’m not so sure.” and she sees Metallo leashes out his weakening Kryptonite at Kara. After he attacks, she realizes that his green heart stops beating for a brief second. Maybe 4.  _ God, how far can Lillian go?  _

The vision of Kara lying down there, unable to speak, is heart-wrenching. “I can see you now, Supergirl. And maybe you can’t do this on your own, but we can.” she looks at the agents, all of them remain shut and still,  _ how can they work like this? _ and then it hits her:

“Does anyone here have access to blue kryptonite?” her voice echoes and people start looking at each other

“We used it before. We have it.” Alex says with a confused look, how could she have not figured it out sooner?

“Then what are all of you waiting for?” Lena looks at Alex gathering her team and at J’onn. She forgot she was no CEO here. She wasn’t in charge. He just nods at her. If he was reading her mind during this whole time he won’t have trouble finding out  _ why _ she’s acting so out of line.  

“Lena,” Kara’s voice is weak but hopeful if that is possible. “did you see his heart?”

“We’re coming for you, Kara.” her hands are cold and her body is being held by her arms, her hands gripping the desk’s sides.

“Lena,” her voice is stronger now. “did you  _ see _ it?”

“I did. And I guess you know exactly what to do.” Maybe she should try to stop her but she said before that they could do it. And she really does trust her. 

Kara is silent. If Lena couldn’t see her she would be desperate right now but she knows Alex is on her way to defeat Metallo once in for all. She sees Kara grabbing a car to throw at him as a bait so she will force him to use kryptonite and make his heart stop for a while. As he does it, she flies away as fast as she can. Spreading her arms at the touch of the sun rays. Then she is out of her screen, flying higher that Lena once thought.  _ Maybe we won’t need that blue kryptonite. _

She hears Alex say “we are here. over” in her earbud.  J’onn looks at the screen and then back at Lena. “Stand down, Agent. I think we’ve got this.” Everything happens so fast it feels like ages. Metallo’s heart still didn’t glow green. Maybe it’s deteriorating over time.  _ Shit. _

“Kara, If you go in too strong, the worst case scenario is that we could blow up again.” she takes her time pronouncing the words so it wouldn't be incomprehensible but Kara makes her way down fast. 

“Alex, go!” J’onn screams. Every millisecond they lose is dangerous for Kara, Metallo and for the whole city.

The team of agents must have had him on their aim because they are ready to shoot. They shot him before Kara was able to stop herself. Mid-air. She could have done it but maybe she wouldn’t have a story to tell after that.

\-------- 

Lena’s once again pacing around close to the elevator. She saw the team leave the scene minutes ago. Alex confirmed that Kara was hurt and weak, but wasn’t dying. The elevator door opens.

She looks up with wide eyes, stops pacing, looks down and walks around again. Lena isn’t interested in Metallo’s heavy and full of blue kryptonite body being held by agents. She was sure he was a bad person but no one deserved what her mother did to him. Being transformed into a freak with two hearts and have metals holding his arms and coming out of his chest to transport blood to very damaged areas of his remaining body.

_ Why are they taking so long?  _ she whispers and sees J’onn smirking at her

The elevator opens once again and she finds the one she was looking for. A still very weak and full of dirt Kara. She doesn’t have any wound showing off but Lena can see several holes in her suit, one cut looked very extensive in her abdomen area but thankfully she was healed.  _ She tried. _

“Hey,” Kara takes her left arm off Alex’s shoulders, her sister looks at them with a worried expression but lets Kara go and says “She needs to be at her sunbed for recharge.” And like that their body collides. Lena wanted to hold her as strong as she could but restrained herself.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” the girl of steel grips Lena’s waist with all the strength she has 

“I couldn’t be anywhere else.” and they smile that precious smile

\-------- 

“So...she knows.” Alex says as she moves closer to the screen, looking at her sister’ cells regenerating as seconds passes by.

“She knows.” Kara says sheepishly and exhales in frustration while buttoning up her shirt.

“Is that why she was all worked up and smelled like strong liquor?”

“Yep.” She knows her sister well enough to realize when she doesn’t want to talk about something and would much rather change the topic.

“Ouch.” she starts “Look, I know you’ll take it off as soon as I walk out of this door but you really need to recharge. You went through a lot today.” when she looked up to see Kara she realized that Kara  _ wasn’t  _ paying attention to her but to a mess of a woman outside the room, looking like a lost kid in the middle of the park on a Sunday afternoon. Alex decides to leave them be and invites Lena in. When they pass by they make eye contact and Lena isn’t the same who was giving her orders a few hours ago; she looked exhausted. They don’t say anything to each other but instead, share a sympathetic grin. Lena walks in and sits on the chair that Alex was at.

“Urgh, I hate this,” Kara says as she pulls out the sunbed wires from her forehead, leaving her hair messed up “I feel like a... cell phone, I guess.” 

“I wish my cell phone could last as long as your battery does.” Lena tries to forget the image of hours before. When they were screaming at each other and then Kara’s weak voice, lying down, life draining out of her.

“Not funny.” She smiles lazily at Lena for a second and something shifts and she begins to open her mouth to articulate those impossible words. “I’m sorry for earlier.”

“You shouldn’t be. I understand why you kept it as a secret. I’m the one who’s sorry. I overreacted.”

“That was...scary.” Kara gives her an odd look

“I just didn’t expect it, you know? I always thought that I’d know when someone was hiding something from me. Maybe I was just so blinded by... _ this.”  _ when she speaks that last word she stirs up in her chair and fidgets her fingers.

“Guess I was blind too.” Kara reaches for Lena’s hand and lazily smiles at her.  _ Her eyes are just so... comprehensive.  _

“You were?” she holds Kara’s hands too.

“It’s been so long since I didn’t have someone who saw me as I am. There was no pressure or whatsoever. It was just us.” the tears in her eyes attempts to fall

“Hopefully that won’t change. We’re still the same, Kara.” she starts to caressing Kara’s cheek.  _ Friends do those types of things, right? _

“I thought I was going to lose you today.” Kara’s voice is thick with trapped tears

“Yeah, I thought that too. Twice. I’m not going anywhere.” 

“I’ve lost a lot of people,” the fact that they both had such a hard time growing up, losing a planet, a brother, being snubbed by your mother, it’s incredible that they’ve found each other “I can’t lose you too”

They hold each other like the world was about to end. Kara runs her fingers through Lena’s hair and her cheeks are now wet.

“I don’t care if you’re in formal clothing or in a suit with your family crest on your chest. You’re either way, my hero.  _ You _ . Kara.” she holds Kara’s face and when she was about to say what her mind was screaming for hours, she gets interrupted

“Zor-el.” Kara almost whispers like she was ashamed of herself.

“What?”

“My real name is Kara Zor-El.”  _ oh, it makes sense.  _ Lena’s confused expression is now gone.

“I don’t care If you’re Kara Danvers or Kara Zor-El,” takes a deep breath “I want you in my life as who you are. I don’t care about surname or whatever. You taught me that it’s not that important. We are not our family. And I love  _ you _ , Kara.” Their eyes are welling with tears, a few of them fall and they both use their thumbs to swipe it out of each other’s face.

“I love you too” Kara relaxed at Lena’s touch as she could remove the weight off her shoulders and just when she was starting to get lost in Kara’s blue eyes, she feels the blonde kissing her lips. After the surprise was gone, she gives in to the touch and let herself feel loved by her hero. They shared a deep passionate kiss and the world is nonchalant, everything else is irrelevant. What they have right here and right now is the only thing that matters.

If Lex wanted to separate them his plan was far from working. He doesn’t  _ know  _ them. He can’t just assume that she’d feel the same he did years ago when Superman betrayed him since Kara isn’t her cousin and Lena will never be like Lex. They might have things in common but it doesn’t mean much. It doesn’t mean that she will ever stare at Kara and feel disgusted by the sight.

_ Not possible. _

Not now that she knows how Kara looks out of breath after they kiss. Not now that she’s seen and felt Kara as who she is. She might share DNA with Lex, and Kara with Clark, but they will never be that Luthor and a Super. They have each other back.

“You know, when this day started, I never thought it would end like this. Never thought I would feel everything I did.” Lena tucks Kara's hair behind the blonde’s ear, looking as in love as she thought anyone would ever be.

“The day isn’t over yet.” Kara smiles that full smile of hers and runs her thumb through Lena’s bottom lip and bites her own.  _ God, how does one breathe? _

“Shouldn’t you stay here and heal?”

“I  _ am _ healed. Look at the screen, I’m ready to go home.” and in a heartbeat she shifts to a five years old bored in a hospital bed, pouting to go home and get some ice cream

“You sure?” Lena stands up and fixes her after-make-out-session hair

“Yeah,” she nods uncontrollably “plus, I won’t need this bed where I am going. I already have everything that I need.” she stands up and puts her arm around Lena

In that moment that they walk away in direction to the elevator, Lena feels like that's where they belong. Near each other. And it doesn’t matter who they’re fighting against, they’ll never turn against each other. People might try but chances are it will only create a stronger bond between these two. Her life has never felt this normal. She was never this happy. When she looks up to see Kara’s smile, she is sure that Kara feels it too. And that is everything.

  
_ "You steal me away _ __  
_ With your eyes and with your mouth _ __  
_ And just take me back to in your house _ __  
_ And stare at me with the lights off _ _  
_ __ To feel something"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, thats it. i wanted to split a few plots to create another chapter but it would be useless.  
> i didnt know it would take me so long to upload. i wrote this one day before the sdcc so i didnt know if i should post it or not but supercorp is bigger than jeremy.  
> hope you enjoy it.

**Author's Note:**

> I was talking to my friend about supercorp (as always) and we started having those ideas and well... here we are.She co-wrote this but sadly she doesn't have an accout  
> my english is lame, I'm sorry.  
> Severed Crossed Finger is such a supercorp song I love st. vincent  
> Next chapter will be up as soon as I finish studying philosophy  
> I hope you like it :)  
> you can find me at ananobrain.tumblr.com


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